Correct Answers

Question: What the fuck is "planking"?

2011-06-28T15:00:00.005-05:00

Answer: Planking is all the rage. Basically you go somewhere and act like a stiff penis. It is the new freestyle walking. Jerry Bail Bonds used to be a champion Freestyle Walker in the 90's. Black Caddilac was a silver medalist.

Planking:

Freestyle walking:

Also, this was the move that planted me on Charlie's 1997 Toyota Camry hood where I left my ass autograph:

Question: Is the term "oriental" offensive if you are referring to a person?

2011-03-08T16:03:00.002-06:00

Answer: No, unless you are a pinko commie PC liberal.

Question: What is the baddest ass animal on the planet?

2011-02-09T16:25:00.003-06:00

Answer:

Wolverines are world renown for their ability to live in the vacuum of space or the cold, dark depths of the oceans. Couple that will their ability to kill 137 black bears/second and you've got the baddest animal on the planet.

Question: Was Jerry Bail Bonds and Pauly D slaying hoes and fist pumping all over Nash Vegas last night?

2010-01-22T15:10:00.003-06:00

Answer: That appears to be the situation.

Question: What kind of websites does B3KR like to look at?

2009-04-22T15:08:00.006-05:00

Answer: Luckily today I walked by his desk and noticed he was reading the wikipedia entry of one of his favorite celebrities, check it out. Of course the Subaru website is a favorite as well as this one.

I invite/dare B3KR to challenge any of these.

Question: What happens if you drive a Subaru and it starts raining?

2009-04-22T11:53:00.003-05:00

Answer:

Question: Where can I find half a cow to purchase?

2009-04-22T11:46:00.003-05:00

Answer: There is only one obvious choice.

Question: What does B3KR do on his off days?

2009-04-22T11:41:00.003-05:00

Answer: Excellent question. The answer to this question is contained in the following photo.

Apparently B3KR likes to travel to far away places and buy half of cows to take home and consume. Now you are probably asking yourself how you can buy yourself half of a cow. Well here at Correct Answers we strive to help. Check back for a post that will answer that exact question.

Question: What kind of parenting skills does Black Cadillac have?

2009-03-02T15:03:00.004-06:00

Answer: This man is his hero.

Question: Did someone tell us today that Black Caddy and B3KR look like brothers?

2009-02-27T13:26:00.002-06:00

Answer: Yes they did. B3KR, Black Caddy, and I were all present for the momentous occasion.

Question: Is the chin strap/ leprechaun/ amish beard cool?

2009-02-26T14:37:00.004-06:00

Answer: Hell no but there's this dude at work that rocks one like an Amish dude in a House of Pain video in 1993.

Photo courtesy of: http://www.uncoached.com/category/the-myspace-toolbox/ Check it out.

P.S. He still rocks the Big Ole Timbos too.

Question: How big of a loser is B3KR?

2009-02-26T12:42:00.007-06:00

Answer: I contacted Professor Bunsen for help with this question. He provided me a formula to use that will determine the percentage of chance you are a huge fucking loser douchenozzle.

For B3KR we plug in the following values:
------------------------------------------
e = 47
n = 6
s = 2
d = 20
Z = 562
L = 16

and we come up with:

So it looks like B3KR has a 99.74% chance of being a huge loser.

P.S. Pro Bunsen stressed to me that this formula will not work for anyone other than B3KR because they would have zeros for every variable.

Question: Why have you not posted more about B3KR?

2009-02-24T08:31:00.002-06:00

Answer: That is our fault. Just this morning I found this.

Question: Are Caddy and GD having a little workplace spat right now?

2009-02-23T12:59:00.003-06:00

Answer: Yes they are having a typical estrogen-filled workplace spat. Something about Diapers not doing enough work and Caddy being full of shit while B3KR isn't getting either them enough coffee and doughnuts.

Question: Where does Louisville rank in Busted Coverage's Girls of the Big East?

2009-02-20T09:48:00.004-06:00

Answer: 3 out of 16 ain't bad. I'm proud of our sluts.

Question: Is there a story floating around the Internet that references Noodle Arm's nuts?

2009-02-19T15:32:00.003-06:00

Answer: Yep

Be sure to pick up this shirt to show your support.

Question: Is it chauncey poll time yet?

2009-02-18T11:32:00.006-06:00

Answer: Damn right it is. Here's how it works. I'm going to pose a question with multiple choices. Put in your selection or write-in on the comments section.

TODAY'S TOPIC:
GoatDiapers is starting a new website about himself and he wants help naming it. I've come up with a few options. Tell me what you think.

My RSS feed is longer than the Economic Stimulus package and I still have the sack to tell everybody that I work my ass off.
Nick Saban's taint tastes like cotton candy.
If the Tide got into a fight with God, BAMA would win in the first round.
My wife makes me give her a MANI-PEDI every night and that's why I don't play XBOX anymore.
I wish I was Freddie Kitchens.
If Nickelback was an all-you-can-eat buffet, I would weigh 824 pounds.
I got my virginity back as of yesterday.
I don't have a favorite pro-team but I fucking hate yours.
Caddy said that Hunter Cantwell was at one time highly touted and I took that as him saying "I think Hunter Cantwell is the best quarterback/person/deity/frog-gigger in the world."
War and Saban
The Catcher and the Saban
The Holy Saban
Of Mice and Saban
Moby Saban
1000 leagues up Saban's ass

Question: Do Subarus suck?

2009-02-18T10:19:00.002-06:00

ANSWER: Yes.

"Under normal operating conditions, CV joints and boots are engineered to last upwards of 150,000 miles. Some go the distance, but a lot reach the end of the road far short of their design life. According to one major aftermarket supplier of replacement axle shafts, CV joint shafts are typically being replaced at anywhere from 70,000 miles to 130,000 miles. What's more, some makes and models of vehicles are notorious for eating shafts. Subaru, according to this source, is one vehicle that has a higher-than-normal replacement rate. The aftermarket supplier we talked to blamed the problem on the relatively thin case hardening that Subaru uses in their CV joints."

Article here.

Answer: Is B3KR a sports fan?

2009-02-12T11:25:00.002-06:00

Answer: Apparently, he likes basketball.

Question: Which band has/had the hottest members?

2009-02-12T09:15:00.003-06:00

Answer: According to Black Caddy the answer is:

I don't agree with him. Do you?

Question: Are the prosecutors even allowed to use that shit against Bonds?

2009-02-05T16:10:00.003-06:00

Answer: Mutha fuckin' fuck no. Which makes it irrelevant. Suck it.

Question: Does any proof exist that Barry "NoodleArm" Bonds juiced?

2009-02-05T16:08:00.001-06:00

Answer: Why, hells yeah!!!

Question: What will B3KR look like in 10 years?

2009-02-05T15:53:00.006-06:00

Answer: That is a very good but tricky question. I took a current picture of B3KR and by using an experimental piece of sophisticated computer simulation software I manged to answer the question.

Ladies and gents, I present to you B3KR in 2019:

Question: How is Jerry Bail Bonds paying for his trip to Hawaii?

2009-02-05T15:51:00.005-06:00

Answer: He had to do some things he wasn't proud of and a couple that he was:

Like this:

and of course this:

Question: Does the picture below represent the comment that GD made that Caddy should stick to blowing Rich Brooks?

2009-02-05T12:45:00.004-06:00

Answer: Yes because obviously GD has Saban and the ghost of Bear Bryant covered. Plus, I enjoyed Caddy's picture so much that I had to make one similar. Looks like Caddy got his head shaved and bought a black tank top.

Question: Has anybody seen Goatdiapers lately?

2009-02-05T11:32:00.003-06:00

Answer: I heard he went to Tuscaloosa to celebrate Bama's recruiting class. I think we have a picture:

Question: Was there a tribute to honor "He-Ate-Me" today?

2009-02-04T16:54:00.001-06:00

Answer: Yes there was.

Question: Is Correct Answers' new internet girlfriend Dipping Dots?

2009-02-04T13:06:00.005-06:00

Answer: Apparently so. Caddy has taken the liberty of putting Superman Dipping Dots up as our new internet girlfriend as you can see over here--------------------------------------->

Question: If Black Cadillac sees you walking towards the elevator will he hold it for you?

2009-02-04T09:13:00.003-06:00

Answer: No, because he is a douche nozzle.

Question: Is the NBA actually adding H.O.R.S.E. to the All Star Weekend?

2009-02-03T18:49:00.003-06:00

Answer: Better believe it.

Question: What does Jerry Bail Bonds listen to when he's taking e-pills?

2009-02-02T14:59:00.005-06:00

Answer: This.

Question: What will B3KR do when he finally snaps?

2009-02-02T13:40:00.004-06:00

Answer: He flipped out at his last job when someone told him Subaru makes junk and we have managed to get a copy of the surveillance tape footage. I'm sure you'll be able to tell which guy is B3KR. Check it out.

Question: Did somebody actually take a picture of Michael Phelps rippin' tubes?

2009-02-02T09:34:00.005-06:00

Answer: Fuck yeah. What an idiot. If I worked at Hardees making biscuits and gravy for a living, I wouldn't let people take pictures of me toking on a 3 footer for fear of losing my job or going to jail. Nevermind that ole trap jaw makes millions off of endorsements. I'll be glad when this dildo is done winning gold medals so we don't have to hear about him anymore and he can smoke his bong in peace.

Question: Did the HIV jinx Arizona last night during the Super Bowl?

2009-02-02T09:09:00.005-06:00

Answer: Yes he most certainly did. He texted me last night right after Fitzgerald's great touchdown run with about 2:34 left to play. He went on about how he was a genius because he predicted the Cardinals would "exploit the seams" in the cover 2 blah blah fuckin' blah and win the football game. Then the Steelers marched right up the field and won. The real genius was in fact myself who predicted the winner and was off on the score by 2 total points. Fuckin' safety! So Cardinal fans, forward all your complaints to Mr. "I watched Jaworski on ESPN last night so I now know about the Cover 2 defense" A.K.A. The HIV.

Question: What is going to be the first concert of the year for Baccala in 2009?

2009-01-30T14:34:00.005-06:00

Answer: The HIV is flying to Canada to see fuckin' Celine Dion. Instead of being backstage in his dominatrix outfit this year, he has to mix it up with the dirty floppy-headed Canadians out in General Admission with his Canadian Tuxedo on. Yes, he's going to grab his finest jean jacket and box of kleenex to go see this bitch.

Question: What is the best link GD has seen today?

2009-01-30T13:38:00.001-06:00

Answer: This

Question: What is the first concert of the year for Diapers going to be?

2009-01-30T13:36:00.002-06:00

Answer: The fuckin' bar-chord wonders themselves. He's going to put his Kroeger shirt on and stand on the front row with 3 dozen roses in anticipation of throwing them at Chad. He'll be sporting wood while all jacked up on Motts Applejuice boxes. This will make Nickelback show number 59 for Diapers.

Question: What is JBB's first concert of 2009 going to be?

2009-01-30T09:26:00.003-06:00

Answer: The muthafuckin' Marr-less Mouse, bitch. Me and Caddy are going to read Bukowski, smoke 4 packs of cigarettes, wear pea coats and cuss everybody out every night until March 7th. Then we're going to go to Atlanta and fire it up.

Question: Coachella's lineup fucking finally came out. Is JBB excited about it and is he going?

2009-01-30T09:19:00.004-06:00

Answer: If I was a teenage girl in 1984 I guess I would be excited about it. It would take a lot for me to go to damn California. Other than the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and the Black Keys, I could give a fuck. I'm not going.

Question: What are JBB, GD, and Caddy's picks for the Super Bowl?

2009-01-30T08:53:00.007-06:00

Answer: I'll go first. As much as I fucking hate it, there are too many factors going against the Cardinals. Good defense always trumps good offense, no Cardinal fan support and overmatched altogether. Here's the score: Pittsburgh 27 Arizona 21.

Question: What would Jerry Bail Bonds do with a million dollars?

2009-01-29T15:00:00.006-06:00

Answer: 2 things

1) Join this party:

2) Invite Fred Savage to join them.

Question: What is the HIV's favorite book?

2009-01-29T14:04:00.001-06:00

Answer:

Question: Is Jerry Bail Bonds jacked up about "The Watchmen"?

2009-01-29T13:54:00.001-06:00

Answer: You better believe it.

Question: Has B3KR nutted his pants today?

2009-01-29T13:09:00.004-06:00

Answer: If he hasn't yet, he will now:

I don't know why he gets so excited about getting his face raped though.

Question: When playing on a sports team, how do you know if the coach really has your back or not?

2009-01-29T10:42:00.006-06:00

Answer: Well if he says dumb shit like this, then he'll take a bullett for you and give you a half 'n' half in the locker room. After reading the link, you'll notice that this coach is an absolute idiot. How do you not know when you are about to/actually stepping on a 7 foot tall white boy's head that is laying right in front of you? I mean I'm all about dirty play but fuck this guy.

Question: What is the NEW gayest statement ever made on this website?

2009-01-28T16:06:00.004-06:00

Answer: This one comes courtesy of ole Baccala once again. I'm noticing a pattern. There needs to be a weekly, "Gay shit that the HIV says" post. But without further ado:

"Hittin Skaggs in the ass balls deep would make a better story than hitting that product of the Nashville cookie cutter country industry."

Question: Is the Bonnaroo line-up getting announced Tuesday?

2009-01-28T15:55:00.003-06:00

Answer: Fuck Yeah and it still might beat Coachella's announcement.

Question: Did Lynyrd Skynyrd's keyboard player die?

2009-01-28T13:24:00.004-06:00

Answer: Yes, that must be why Goatdiapers hasn't posted shit today. Let me tell you what he is doing. He is currently sobbing with his aunt Bessie-Sue over a tub of tater salad and case of Bud Heavy while wearing his Ronnie Van Zant T-Shirt. I ask that your prayers be with the Diapers family over this truly horrific loss.

Question: What is most awesome video that Jerry Bail Bonds has seen so far this year?

2009-01-28T11:24:00.003-06:00

Answer:

Question: Is the Boss doing Bonnaroo this year?

2009-01-27T13:55:00.003-06:00

Answer: It appears imminent. He announced his world tour today and you'll notice a big ass gap in his schedule from June 10th till July 2nd. This means that he's going to get so damn drunk and roll on so many e-pills, that he'll have to take the rest of the month off. If those terds want me to come to the farm this year though, they'll have to do better than the Boss. If he brings the guy pictured next to him, I would almost have to go.

Question: Did Auburn just pull the 2nd best quarterback in the nation? - Matt, Nashville, TN

2009-01-27T13:10:00.001-06:00

Answer: God damn it, yes. I ain't scared though. Diapers?

Question: What is the best song for pulling some strange?

2009-01-27T11:40:00.002-06:00

Answer: This one

Just ask Jerry Bail Bonds.

Question: Is sports' biggest closet homosexual, Reggie MIller, potentially coming out of retirement?

2009-01-27T10:25:00.003-06:00

Answer: I fucking hope not. Seriously, isn't he like 47? If Jordan couldn't compete at 40, how the fuck is this choke artist going to do shit in the NBA?

Question: Is Jessica Simpson a tubby slut now?

2009-01-27T09:47:00.011-06:00

Answer: To call her a "tubby slut" would be an understatement. This bitch has lost all control... Either that or Gomer's seed has been running wild in all the wrong places. With those tacky-ass clothes and all the weight, she looks like goatdiapers' aunt Bessie-Sue now after a 12 pack of Bud Heavy and a 5 gallon bucket of tater salad before she throws horse shoes and competes in the watermelon seed spitting contest at the Diapers family reunion. It goes without saying that I would now not poker.org.

Question: Will VH1 give anyone a T.V. show now?

2009-01-27T09:24:00.004-06:00

Answer: Yes they will...

and T.O.'s face sums up how I feel about that.

Question: What occurs during one of B3KR's wet dreams?

2009-01-27T09:09:00.005-06:00

Answer: Fortunately for you we recently developed the technology to record just such a thing. Here!

Question: Are there any pictures or youtube videos of the HIV out there?

2009-01-26T13:00:00.007-06:00

Answer: Today is your lucky day. I have both! Here is the picture:

Yes, I know that it looks like Bobby Baccala from the Sopranos but it is a common mistake. If I had a full length shot though, you would see that the HIV is a 5'3" no-good Italian fat ass as opposed to Bobby Baccala who is a 6'2" no-good Italian fat ass.

Here is the Youtube video they made of tubby after the Giants got poked in the playoffs:

Question: Is the B3KR ball breaking spreading to other websites now?

2009-01-26T12:50:00.002-06:00

Answer: Yes.

Question: Has Jerry Bail Bonds ever been photographed out on the town?

2009-01-26T11:26:00.005-06:00

Answer: Yes, he has.

Don't let the girls fool you though, he'll leave with that younger dude.

Question: What is the new gayest comment made on this site?

2009-01-23T15:45:00.001-06:00

Answer:

And can we PLEASE get a new chick? I am sick of looking at this Jenny bitch.

-The HIV

Question: There has been a lot of talk about contributors on this website and their World of Warcraft habits. Who are the culprits?

2009-01-23T08:49:00.009-06:00

Answer: I will get to your question in a second. First let me explain what "World of Warcraft" is. WOW (as denoted by hardcore players of the game otherwise known as "taints") is a Massive online multiplayer roleplaying game. If you still don't understand let me put it this way: 80's Dungeons and Dragons players begat modern day WOW players. The game itself is split into 2 sides (good v. evil kind of.) There is the Horde (bad guys) and I don't know the name of the good guys. These taints are so crazy about this game if they see a member of the other side out in public, they will engage them in fisticuffs while trying their damnedest to somehow incorporate their nunchucks that they have hangning over their bed in a glass case.

Hours of time is blown on this game. Some things that are sure to accompany playing this game: inverted penis, homosexual tendencies quenched by asexual practices due to lack of actual human interaction, career retraction or elimination, moving in with your parents, clothes bought at Hot Topic, and engaging in debates such as "which band is better: Fall Out Boy or Hoobastank?" As you can see this is some serious shit. So without further ado, here are the culprits:

1. The HIV: After he started grabbing my ass at lunch time (homosexual tendencies resulting due to playing a shitload of WOW) I told him that he has a fucking problem. ***ABSOLUTE HONEST TO GOD TRUTH WARNING*** He was then motivated to check how much time he had actually devoted to this game. He went home and looked and he had been on the game a total of 256 days! Let's do the math: 256 days x 24 hours a day = 6,144 hours of motherfuckin' WOW! I at least hope that you are the King of that world you live in. HIV: you are now officially a lost cause.

2. TorqueStick: As aforementioned here, you can see his WOW history. He is also a rabid Star Trek fan so when "The Shat" started doing WOW commercials, TorqueStick tried to whip his inverted penis out of his skinny emo jeans and start beating it like mad. Ole Torquebox may be the biggest taint to ever walk the planet.

Okay HIV, you go ahead and type 3 consecutive 895 word comments filled with illiteracy, nonsense and 273 exclamation marks. TorqueStick, you play off of the HIV and put a bunch of cuss words together that don't even make sense.

Question: There is a wild list for Coachella. Would Jerry, Caddy and GD go there?

2009-01-22T16:20:00.005-06:00

Answer: Correct Answers might have to go to Cali.

Question: Does Bonnaroo clue #3 mean that Jerry Bail Bonds and Caddy are going for their 4th straight year?

2009-01-22T16:08:00.002-06:00

Answer: If you are referring to this, then we might have to take "Correct Answer's" first field trip.

Question: I know its only January but is it Mel Kiper Jr. time yet?

2009-01-22T15:25:00.005-06:00

Answer: Oh fuck yeah. I hate Mel Kiper almost as much as I hate Barry Melrose but I love the draft. Hey I got an idea lets make a bunch of bullshit picks, go on tv for two months, watch all my bullshit picks go wrong, take the rest of the year off, then do it all again.

Question: Did she just say "fisting"?

2009-01-22T13:53:00.004-06:00

Answer: Sure as fuck sounds like it. That's some really freaky shit. What are you going to tell me next, that Reagan choked Nancy?

Question: What kind of car does Black Caddy roll in?

2009-01-22T12:16:00.002-06:00

Answer: Usually he rides this but lately he rides this.

Question: Who is this TorqueStick guy and can he officially go in the B3KR/HIV category?

2009-01-22T10:45:00.007-06:00

Answer: I'll break this answer up into 2 parts.

1. TorqueStick was born in a small village in an impoverished part of South Dakota. When his father started selling blow-up dolls, they came into a little money. After that, TorqueStick discovered the internet. Since then he has logged 1,892 hours on World of Warcraft, looked at tons of porno and apparently now makes dumb fucking comments on my website now.

2. Yes we can put him in the B3KR/HIV category and so in honor of that, go fuck yourself torquestick and quit making dumb ass retarded comments on the site, douche nozzle.

P.S. Nice tits, B3KR.

Question: Is "The Magical Mustache Man" A.K.A. Jeff Kent going to retire?

2009-01-22T10:27:00.005-06:00

Answer: Yes. Get the fuck outta here already!

Question: Does ESPN have a strange love/hate thing for Cowboys players even if they haven't played in 50 years?

2009-01-22T10:15:00.005-06:00

Answer: Yes. For those of you who don't know, Hollywood was the first Cowboys player to wear a fur coat and snort/cook up/mix with biscuits and gravy/freebase cocaine just like "THE PLAYMAKER" and this guy. He was a bad ass and can be credited for starting the gangster mentality that Cowboys players have. So if you still don't get it, I made a diagram for you below.

Question: Which movie of 2009 is B3KR looking forward to the most?

2009-01-21T13:26:00.002-06:00

Answer: Dead Snow

Question via email: Would you choose Auburn or Vanderbilt in a game? - Ryan/Nashville, TN

2009-01-20T19:24:00.002-06:00

Answer: I would have to take Auburn because Vandy is, well they are Vandy. We keep them in the SEC to help our conference GPA and graduation rate. If they mess up and win a few games that is cool. Don't let their "success" this year fool you, they are Vandy. Hell, they played a QB from The Fountain City so you know they suck.

Question via email: Why is Alabama going to suck next season in football? - Matt/Nashville, TN

2009-01-20T15:42:00.004-06:00

Answer:
Matt broke with protocol and decided to go ahead and send along the choices for the answer.

A) Their schedule is loaded with teams from the WAC.
B) They accidentally ended the season last year with a record over .500
C) Roster will be depleted due to multiple off-season cocaine trafficking arrests.

I'm going to scrap all of those and make my own list (since I created the damn website I can do this).

A) They can't play that high powered Auburn spread offense every week.
B) They were intimidated by Auburn's presence in the BCS bowl games.
C) They can't get any big time recruits since Auburn owns the state.
D) They don't have a coach that knows how to run a program.
E) They don't have any tradition of winning.

Question: Jerry, who would you take in a jailhouse brawl, OJ or Plaxico? - Ryan/ Nashville, TN

2009-01-20T15:34:00.009-06:00

Answer: Thank you Ryan for your submission. You have inspired me to start a segment known as "Jailhouse brawls". Today will be my very first installment so without further ado, I would definitely take OJ and let me explain why:

1. In the hypothetical "all time players" fantasy football draft, I would trade Goatdiapers this: Plaxico and Laurence Maroney for OJ and Erik Dickerson. Thus, GD would have ole dead leg Plaxico and my OJ would rush for 2,000 yards and I would win. (true story)

2. If you asked me who would be the first to kill himself, then I would take Plaxico all day.

3. The HIV's favorite football team is the Giants and anybody associated with the New York football pussies is a loser.

4. OJ the butcher don't play and he is practicing in the clink right now with a shank that he carved from a toothbrush.

Question: What is the most inaccurate statement ever made on this website?

2009-01-20T13:31:00.003-06:00

Answer:

GoatDiapers...he is WRECKING SHIT in Call Of Duty.

This is wrong in two parts: 1)GD is never on the XBox let alone on CoD and 2)if he were to play he would not be "wrecking shit".

Question: What is the gayest statement ever made on this website?

2009-01-20T11:09:00.005-06:00

Answer: That award goes to The HIV with this gem:

"I have C.O.D. on Wii"

Excuse me while I wipe my eyes. Isn't that sweet, he has it on the wittle Wii. That way he can use his wittle Nintendo controller while he has a handfull of cock with the other hand.

Question: Is it just my imagination or has B3KR been neglected as of late on this site?

2009-01-20T10:29:00.004-06:00

Answer: You are absolutely right and I apologize. So in honor of B3KR I will tell him to go fuck himself and post this picture of B3KR and the HIV in his luche libre outfit at the premier of Brokeback Mountain.

Question: Now that Jerry Bail Bonds has a Wii can Caddy, GD and the HIV get some on the Mario Kart now?

2009-01-20T09:54:00.004-06:00

Answer: Anytime bitches. I will hit the HIV so hard in the head with a turtle shell that his mom will feel it. Then I'll scoot by everybody and fuck the princess in the winner's circle.

Oh yes, the gauntlet has been thrown down.

Question: Now that Ray Ray is a free agent, do you think that he will sign with the Cowboys?

2009-01-20T08:32:00.006-06:00

Answer: I don't think, I know. Yeah I understand that he's kind of fat now and he has his own version of the pee pee dance but bottom line, he will MURDER some running backs with a star on his helmet next season.

Question: Did Jerry Bail Bonds almost piss his pants when someone posted as Jenny Lewis?

2009-01-20T08:27:00.002-06:00

Answer: Apparently he did (and no I did not post it). It sounded like Jerry was ready to pick up the red phone and launch the nukes. I know you get all awkward around girls but just calm down Jerry.

Question: Did Cory Ivy's soul detach from his body after Limas Sweed knocked his brains out in the AFC Championship game?

2009-01-19T12:59:00.003-06:00

Answer: It very much did. Cory Ivy had one of those "looking down on my own body" things after that hit. The Mcgahee hit was nasty too (the HIV wants to post, diapers... make it happen.)

Question: Does Dwayne Wade have the "itchy-scratchies" in his pants?

2009-01-19T09:39:00.003-06:00

Answer: Yes and so does his wife now.

Question: Is Jerry Bail Bonds happy that he won't have to watch Brian Dawkins (huge douche) do that stupid gyrating/seizuring bullshit anymore?

2009-01-19T09:25:00.004-06:00

Answer: Hell yeah I'm happy. Brian Dawkins (who plays for Shittydelphia) is a dongbag and Adrian Wilson would whoop his ass in a cage match. Good riddance, Eagles.

Answer: Which videogame is the best ever?

2009-01-16T16:06:00.002-06:00

Answer: This one.

Question: Who is your favorite UK quarterback?

2009-01-16T15:53:00.003-06:00

Answers:

Black Cadillac = "The Pillsbury Throwboy"

Jerry Bail Bonds = His answer to any QB question is "Frog Gigger"

GoatDiapers = Now it is Tim Couch

From link:

"Here’s a quality Tim Couch story. Some friends and I went to a strip club with Tim. He told us about the time he brought home a Hooters girl and banged her in his marital bed. The next day, Mrs. Couch is making the bed and finds the full Hooters girl outfit—sexy orange shorts, tank top—in the sheets. She immediately confronts Tim. Tim, showing much more awareness and ingenuity than he ever did while under pressure in the pocket, said, “Oh yeah, babe, I thought we could try some role-playing.” In the words of Jerry Seinfeld, sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees INTO it. She puts on the outfit, and Tim bangs her in the same bed."

Awesome!!!

Question: Do you all need Photoshop in the worst way there at Correct Answers?

2009-01-16T13:11:00.005-06:00

Answer: Fuckin-A' right we do. Black Caddy's Microsoft Paint Jobs are awful. Hit us up and we'll make it happen. If you have a wii too, don't forget that Mr. Bail Bonds needs one.

Question: Is the band Tears for Fears gay?

2009-01-16T11:38:00.003-06:00

Answer: Yes, but don't tell B3KR, you'll break his little heart.

Question: Does the new pic of Jenny Lewis do anything for B3KR?

2009-01-16T11:24:00.004-06:00

Answer: Yes but so would a picture of Tom Cruise.

Question: Is it possible to create a better graphic for the website header than Caddy and Jerry can?

2009-01-16T10:16:00.000-06:00

Answer: Yes, how's this:

Question: Has Jerry Bail Bonds chaunced up the site by adding a picture of Barry Bonds (slightly off center) to the banner?

2009-01-16T09:48:00.006-06:00

Answer: Hell yeah he has! Why would anyone want a picture of Barry Bonds on their site, especially now that he hasn't even played ball in over a year. He is in no way relevant to this site or to society in general. He is a disgraced former baseball player who will be lucky to disappear completely without any further ridicule.

Question: Did Jerry Bail Bonds just put up a Wiki gadget to solve any and all bullshit arguments?

2009-01-16T09:45:00.003-06:00

Answer: Yes I did. You are welcome. With that move, I just quadrupled the work that I've done on this website compared to Black Caddy's lazy ass this morning.

Question: How bad does Mohawk Man want some of B3KR?

2009-01-16T08:58:00.003-06:00

Answer: In the worst fucking way.

Question: Did Jerry Bail Bonds receive some embarassing pictures about Bama's loss to Utah?

2009-01-16T08:46:00.005-06:00

Answer: Yes he most certainly did from the office's resident Auburn fan that isn't a douche (there's one that is a huge douche.) Seriously, fucking Utah? I thought that they didn't have anything out there other than Mormons and top shelf mullets.

Question: Word on the streets is that B3KR is pissed about there being a lot of sports posts on here lately. Does he even like sports?

2009-01-16T07:45:00.001-06:00

Answer: No, because B3KR is a little light in the pants. He needs to pry himself off the fucking World of Worldcraft for a second and watch some ball.

Question: Is www.B3KR.com a real website?

2009-01-15T19:37:00.002-06:00

Answer: See for yourself

Question: Is Goatdiapers a lazy bitch today?

2009-01-15T14:43:00.003-06:00

Answer: He most certainly is and Black Caddy is only a little less of a lazy bitch.

Question: Once and for all can we safely say that Barry Bonds did not take illegal performance enhancing drugs?

2009-01-15T11:30:00.009-06:00

Answer: We can now safely say that HE DID NOT TAKE ILLEGAL PERFORMANCE-ENHANCING DRUGS. Let this be a lesson that Jerry fucking Bail Bonds is never wrong no matter how crazy he sounds.

INNOCENT, BITCHES

Question: If Dave Ragone and "He ate me" A.K.A. Jared Lorenzen got into a fist fight to the death, who would win?

2009-01-15T11:07:00.003-06:00

Answer: The real lefty.

Freddie Kitchens can get some too.

Question: Who was the most underrated QB in the history of the SEC?

2009-01-15T10:55:00.004-06:00

Answer: The Hefty Lefty.

Question: Did Kobe do the Major League II "marbles" dance against the Spurs on Wednesday?

2009-01-14T23:15:00.010-06:00

Answer: Yes he fucking did. Go to 2:34 on the tube...

Question: If you had one person to bring with you to take over a third world country, who would it be?

2009-01-14T23:04:00.005-06:00

Answer: Manu mother fucking Ginobili. He'll gut you.

Correct Answers

Question: What the fuck is "planking"?

Question: Is the term "oriental" offensive if you are referring to a person?

Question: What is the baddest ass animal on the planet?

Question: Was Jerry Bail Bonds and Pauly D slaying hoes and fist pumping all over Nash Vegas last night?

Question: What kind of websites does B3KR like to look at?

Question: What happens if you drive a Subaru and it starts raining?

Question: Where can I find half a cow to purchase?

Question: What does B3KR do on his off days?

Question: What kind of parenting skills does Black Cadillac have?

Question: Did someone tell us today that Black Caddy and B3KR look like brothers?

Question: Is the chin strap/ leprechaun/ amish beard cool?

Question: How big of a loser is B3KR?

Question: Why have you not posted more about B3KR?

Question: Are Caddy and GD having a little workplace spat right now?

Question: Where does Louisville rank in Busted Coverage's Girls of the Big East?

Question: Is there a story floating around the Internet that references Noodle Arm's nuts?

Question: Is it chauncey poll time yet?

Question: Do Subarus suck?

Answer: Is B3KR a sports fan?

Question: Which band has/had the hottest members?

Question: Are the prosecutors even allowed to use that shit against Bonds?

Question: Does any proof exist that Barry "NoodleArm" Bonds juiced?

Question: What will B3KR look like in 10 years?

Question: How is Jerry Bail Bonds paying for his trip to Hawaii?

Question: Does the picture below represent the comment that GD made that Caddy should stick to blowing Rich Brooks?

Question: Has anybody seen Goatdiapers lately?

Question: Was there a tribute to honor "He-Ate-Me" today?

Question: Is Correct Answers' new internet girlfriend Dipping Dots?

Question: If Black Cadillac sees you walking towards the elevator will he hold it for you?

Question: Is the NBA actually adding H.O.R.S.E. to the All Star Weekend?

Question: What does Jerry Bail Bonds listen to when he's taking e-pills?

Question: What will B3KR do when he finally snaps?

Question: Did somebody actually take a picture of Michael Phelps rippin' tubes?

Question: Did the HIV jinx Arizona last night during the Super Bowl?

Question: What is going to be the first concert of the year for Baccala in 2009?

Question: What is the best link GD has seen today?

Question: What is the first concert of the year for Diapers going to be?

Question: What is JBB's first concert of 2009 going to be?

Question: Coachella's lineup fucking finally came out. Is JBB excited about it and is he going?

Question: What are JBB, GD, and Caddy's picks for the Super Bowl?

Question: What would Jerry Bail Bonds do with a million dollars?

Question: What is the HIV's favorite book?

Question: Is Jerry Bail Bonds jacked up about "The Watchmen"?

Question: Has B3KR nutted his pants today?

Question: When playing on a sports team, how do you know if the coach really has your back or not?

Question: What is the NEW gayest statement ever made on this website?

Question: Is the Bonnaroo line-up getting announced Tuesday?

Question: Did Lynyrd Skynyrd's keyboard player die?

Question: What is most awesome video that Jerry Bail Bonds has seen so far this year?

Question: Is the Boss doing Bonnaroo this year?

Question: Did Auburn just pull the 2nd best quarterback in the nation? - Matt, Nashville, TN

Question: What is the best song for pulling some strange?

Question: Is sports' biggest closet homosexual, Reggie MIller, potentially coming out of retirement?

Question: Is Jessica Simpson a tubby slut now?

Question: Will VH1 give anyone a T.V. show now?

Question: What occurs during one of B3KR's wet dreams?

Question: Are there any pictures or youtube videos of the HIV out there?

Question: Is the B3KR ball breaking spreading to other websites now?

Question: Has Jerry Bail Bonds ever been photographed out on the town?

Question: What is the *new* gayest comment made on this site?

Question: There has been a lot of talk about contributors on this website and their World of Warcraft habits. Who are the culprits?

Question: There is a wild list for Coachella. Would Jerry, Caddy and GD go there?

Question: Does Bonnaroo clue #3 mean that Jerry Bail Bonds and Caddy are going for their 4th straight year?

Question: I know its only January but is it Mel Kiper Jr. time yet?

Question: Did she just say "fisting"?

Question: What kind of car does Black Caddy roll in?

Question: Who is this TorqueStick guy and can he officially go in the B3KR/HIV category?

Question: Is "The Magical Mustache Man" A.K.A. Jeff Kent going to retire?

Question: Does ESPN have a strange love/hate thing for Cowboys players even if they haven't played in 50 years?

Question: Which movie of 2009 is B3KR looking forward to the most?

Question via email: Would you choose Auburn or Vanderbilt in a game? - Ryan/Nashville, TN

Question via email: Why is Alabama going to suck next season in football? - Matt/Nashville, TN

Question: Jerry, who would you take in a jailhouse brawl, OJ or Plaxico? - Ryan/ Nashville, TN

Question: What is the most inaccurate statement ever made on this website?

Question: What is the gayest statement ever made on this website?

Question: Is it just my imagination or has B3KR been neglected as of late on this site?

Question: Now that Jerry Bail Bonds has a Wii can Caddy, GD and the HIV get some on the Mario Kart now?

Question: Now that Ray Ray is a free agent, do you think that he will sign with the Cowboys?

Question: Did Jerry Bail Bonds almost piss his pants when someone posted as Jenny Lewis?

Question: What is the new gayest comment made on this site?