Question: How big of a loser is B3KR?

Answer: I contacted Professor Bunsen for help with this question. He provided me a formula to use that will determine the percentage of chance you are a huge fucking loser douchenozzle.














For B3KR we plug in the following values:
------------------------------------------
e = 47
n = 6
s = 2
d = 20
Z = 562
L = 16

and we come up with:



So it looks like B3KR has a 99.74% chance of being a huge loser.

P.S. Pro Bunsen stressed to me that this formula will not work for anyone other than B3KR because they would have zeros for every variable.

Question: What is the first concert of the year for Diapers going to be?

Answer: The fuckin' bar-chord wonders themselves. He's going to put his Kroeger shirt on and stand on the front row with 3 dozen roses in anticipation of throwing them at Chad. He'll be sporting wood while all jacked up on Motts Applejuice boxes. This will make Nickelback show number 59 for Diapers.

Question: Is sports' biggest closet homosexual, Reggie MIller, potentially coming out of retirement?

Answer: I fucking hope not. Seriously, isn't he like 47? If Jordan couldn't compete at 40, how the fuck is this choke artist going to do shit in the NBA?

Question: Will VH1 give anyone a T.V. show now?

Answer: Yes they will...



and T.O.'s face sums up how I feel about that.

Question: There has been a lot of talk about contributors on this website and their World of Warcraft habits. Who are the culprits?

Answer: I will get to your question in a second. First let me explain what "World of Warcraft" is. WOW (as denoted by hardcore players of the game otherwise known as "taints") is a Massive online multiplayer roleplaying game. If you still don't understand let me put it this way: 80's Dungeons and Dragons players begat modern day WOW players. The game itself is split into 2 sides (good v. evil kind of.) There is the Horde (bad guys) and I don't know the name of the good guys. These taints are so crazy about this game if they see a member of the other side out in public, they will engage them in fisticuffs while trying their damnedest to somehow incorporate their nunchucks that they have hangning over their bed in a glass case.

Hours of time is blown on this game. Some things that are sure to accompany playing this game: inverted penis, homosexual tendencies quenched by asexual practices due to lack of actual human interaction, career retraction or elimination, moving in with your parents, clothes bought at Hot Topic, and engaging in debates such as "which band is better: Fall Out Boy or Hoobastank?" As you can see this is some serious shit. So without further ado, here are the culprits:

1. The HIV: After he started grabbing my ass at lunch time (homosexual tendencies resulting due to playing a shitload of WOW) I told him that he has a fucking problem. ***ABSOLUTE HONEST TO GOD TRUTH WARNING*** He was then motivated to check how much time he had actually devoted to this game. He went home and looked and he had been on the game a total of 256 days! Let's do the math: 256 days x 24 hours a day = 6,144 hours of motherfuckin' WOW! I at least hope that you are the King of that world you live in. HIV: you are now officially a lost cause.

2. TorqueStick: As aforementioned here, you can see his WOW history. He is also a rabid Star Trek fan so when "The Shat" started doing WOW commercials, TorqueStick tried to whip his inverted penis out of his skinny emo jeans and start beating it like mad. Ole Torquebox may be the biggest taint to ever walk the planet.

Okay HIV, you go ahead and type 3 consecutive 895 word comments filled with illiteracy, nonsense and 273 exclamation marks. TorqueStick, you play off of the HIV and put a bunch of cuss words together that don't even make sense.

Question: Is Jerry Bail Bonds happy that he won't have to watch Brian Dawkins (huge douche) do that stupid gyrating/seizuring bullshit anymore?

Answer: Hell yeah I'm happy. Brian Dawkins (who plays for Shittydelphia) is a dongbag and Adrian Wilson would whoop his ass in a cage match. Good riddance, Eagles.